


Wishing for Different Times

by lucky13cat



Category: Thunderbirds, thunderbirds are go
Genre: Alan Tracy Needs a Hug, Angst and Feels, Family Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 18:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16838344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucky13cat/pseuds/lucky13cat
Summary: Alan Tracy grew up without a mother or a father. That has to do something to him.





	Wishing for Different Times

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this was born out of my need to cause some angst. I mean Alan grew up without a mother or a father essentially. His brothers raised him on a remote island, and Alan is homeschooled. That's gotta mess with a kid's head don't you think?

Alan Tracy didn’t want to grow up without a mother. He never wanted to grow up without a father either. He was supposed to have his entire life with them, to be raised by them. Somedays he wishes that he couldn’t remember either of them. It’s easier to get over people you’ve never remembered than those you do.

If he tries, Alan can remember vague things about them both. He occasionally has scattered memories, but it’s never enough. He still doesn’t know them, and he still stops himself from hating how much more time his brothers had with them.

His brothers are the best, and he’d never trade them away. He just wishes that they stopped being so utterly oblivious to the fact that Alan had fewer memories of their parents than them. Alan had been a toddler when Mom died, and a preteen when Dad did while his brothers had precious extra years to make memories.

It goes like this. Scott will tell a story about something Dad did, and everyone will chime in with details Scott missed. Everyone except Alan, who sits there staring at his shoes. He wants to know everything about Mom and Dad, but it hurts to have to ask for every scrap and detail.

Most days he barely thinks about Mom and Dad anymore. Jeff and Lucille Tracy are his parents, but they aren’t a piece of his life. He knows its harsh, and his brothers would kill him if he ever told one of them. But, it’s the truth. Scott took him to his first day of kindergarten, holding his hand the entire walk from home. John taught him how to work with Thunderbird 3. Virgil took care of him when he got sick or hurt. And Gordon cheered him up when he was bored or sad.

Alan knows that’s not the normal way kids grow up. Moms and dads are supposed to do everything his brothers did. But, Alan’s family has never been normal.

Being a Thunderbird is the best thing in the entire world, but somedays Alan wonders what life would be like if Mom hadn’t died. If Dad hadn’t crashed. Would he have grown up back home in Kansas? Would he have gone to real school and had friends his own age? Or was International Rescue inevitable?

Alan thinks he would have liked to grow up in Kansas or any place on the mainland. Friends would have been great to have growing up. Someone his own age he could relate to. He was the youngest Tracy after all. All of his brothers had finished school years ago, and Alan was barely through high school. 

Being the youngest meant he was protected by his older brothers. It meant that he had four siblings who would always have his back. But, who could protect him from the family he didn’t have? Who could protect him from the memories his brothers cherished? How could he be protected by something that gave his brothers so much joy?

Alan Tracy wished he could have grown up with a mother and father. He wishes he could remember ever having either.

**Author's Note:**

> I may be posting more Tracy Family feels (starring Alan, especially if it's angsty) so comment prompts! Or you could send them to my tumblr! You can find me at lucky13cat


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